Why Elope?
From a bride with absolutely no regrets.

Hi there. I'm Nadia.

The bride who became besties with the best friend photographer.
Anandi and I every so often reminisce about my elopement day. Partly because it was a pretty awesome day (if you don't believe me, go check out the gallery), and partly because it's the day we met. Needless to say, she adopted me and we've been doing life alongside each other ever since. But I digress...
Anyways... during one of those conversations recently she said something along the lines of, "You know... I think brides need to hear your side of the story." So, here I am. Temporarily hijacking Anandi's blog to share our experience and, hopefully, answer one simple question: why elope?
Now before I get into it, let me say this upfront. This isn't a blog about why everyone should elope. It isn't me trying to convince you to cancel your venue or tell your guests not to bother buying an outfit. If you've dreamt of a big wedding for as long as you can remember, I genuinely hope you have the most magical day imaginable. This is simply the story of why two very private people chose something different, and why I have absolutely no regrets.
People often ask whether we'd always planned on eloping. The answer is... sort of?
We always knew we wanted something small and intimate. Neither of us ever particularly enjoyed being the centre of attention, and the idea of standing in front of a room full of people while all eyes were on us never really sounded like our idea of a good time. But like every newly engaged couple, we still found ourselves looking at venues, budgets, guest lists and everything else that somehow gets bundled together with getting married. The more we looked, the more one thought kept coming back. We didn't actually want to host a wedding. We wanted to get married. And in our minds those were two very different things.
The idea of spending months making decisions that were largely for other people, spending a small fortune on one day, trying to keep everyone happy and somehow squeezing quality time together in between all of that... it just didn't feel like us. We'd seen so many weddings where the couple barely had a chance to breathe because they were so busy greeting guests, sticking to a timeline and making sure everyone else was enjoying themselves. We wanted the exact opposite. We wanted to wake up on our wedding day and simply... be. Be together. Be excited. Be ridiculously in love. Be unapologetically ourselves.
So we decided to elope.
Within a couple of weeks we'd picked a date, booked our officiant, booked Anandi (my one non-negotiable for the day - to capture the memories!) and decided on what we wanted to wear. We also made one decision that, in hindsight, made planning incredibly easy. We didn't tell a soul. Not because we wanted to exclude anyone, but because we wanted the freedom to make decisions without inviting everyone else's opinions into the conversation. It meant every choice we made was ours. We didn't get guilt-tripped. We didn't overthink things.
We didn't second-guess ourselves. We didn't feel like we had to justify why we wanted what we wanted.
It was wonderfully uncomplicated.
And, looking back now, I think that's exactly what our wedding day was. Wonderfully uncomplicated. We weren't rushing from one thing to the next or worrying about whether everyone else was having a good time. We weren't trying to stick to a timeline or squeeze in quality time between greeting guests and posing for photos. We simply got to spend the first day of our marriage together, completely present in every moment. The day unfolded naturally, exactly as we'd hoped it would, and somehow that's what made it so unforgettable. There wasn't one grand moment that stood out above the rest. It was a collection of tiny moments when we simply existed together and celebrated in a way that felt completely, unapologetically us.
Now look...if there's one misconception I'd love to change, it's this. People often imagine elopements as quietly signing papers at Home Affairs before going home and carrying on with everyday life. I couldn't disagree more.
An elopement can be anything you want it to be. You can exchange vows anywhere. On a mountain, in your home or on the sidewalk in the middle of Joburg. You can spend the day exploring your favourite city, wine tasting or having a picnic. You can wear a special outfit, have a first dance, exchange vows and throw your store-bought bouquet if you really want to. (Mine landed somewhere in the hands of complete strangers and it was so fun!)
The beauty of it is that there are no rules. You get to decide what your elopement day looks like, and you get to make it memorable in a way that's uniquely yours.
And if your biggest worry is what other people will think or whether someone will take offence... that's completely understandable. It was one of our concerns too. But let me reassure you of this: every wedding, no matter how big or small, comes with opinions. The people who truly love you, though, will share in your joy, and those who know your heart will understand exactly why you made this choice.
So, would I recommend eloping? Without hesitation. Not because I think everyone should, but because I think every couple deserves to start their marriage in a way that feels true to who they are. If planning a big wedding fills you with excitement, then I genuinely hope you have the most incredible celebration. But if you've found yourself wondering whether there's another way, consider this your permission slip to explore it. Your wedding doesn't have to look like anybody else's. It only has to feel like yours.
(And if you do decide to elope, book Anandi to capture every one of those special moments. Trust me... you'll definitely want to remember them.)
and that’s the tea (or, the vodka martini)
xoxo Nadia
